


No Longer Behind Me (discontinued)

by Roadkill (Kinzjamoo)



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Phase Five (Gorillaz)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 17:07:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18014921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinzjamoo/pseuds/Roadkill
Summary: Some idea  had for like...an entire year now that I finally went through with dndnd,I always thought itd be interesting to go in depth on 2D and his therapist he mentions in interviews, with a lil bit of a twist to it,





	No Longer Behind Me (discontinued)

**Author's Note:**

> Some idea had for like...an entire year now that I finally went through with dndnd,I always thought itd be interesting to go in depth on 2D and his therapist he mentions in interviews, with a lil bit of a twist to it,

As a therapist , I knew it was unwise to run from my past and the troubles with it. Although if you'd ever asked me about it, i'd just say that I left past to be past, simply moved on from things, as to not prove me as the annually most hypocritical person on planet earth. I always get  this strange feeling that it was going to  come to bite me back in the arse, I put it down as simple paranoia. It was a feeling that came when I heard a similar name, or a similar face, I thought I saw them  submerged  in a crowd, mistaken a passerbys voice as theirs, or anything as simple as just a thing they were once fond of gives an unshakeable reminder of them. A similar name, a song, the mention of my hometown. It was usually something I could ignore until I got that underlying dread whilst with a patient. And now that I'm reflecting I'm surprised I didn't put it together earlier.  
Stuart Pot,or 2D as he said he liked to be called, had been  going through changes, emotionally to significant extent .It still had went slow, sort of over time,from weekly session to session. The first time he saw me, he'd came in, he looked at me with those blank, milky whites of eyes as if he was a deer in the headlights. In fact, every mannerism that day seemed almost deer like, not in an elegant sort of way, but as if its doom were to strike it at any given moment from the bushes. It all had  some sort of caution to it, like every movement he looked unsure of himself,and awfully skiddish. Yet after that, he slowly cracked from his shell, talking more,even going on absurdly off-topic tangents. Sometimes he wouldn't even note the drastic change in conversation, others he did it to avoid where the conversation was going. This went on further until he was coming in almost as a completely different person, over animated gestures and an almost cocky looking smile plastered around his face. Rambling continuously about his improvement ,his album and the upcoming tour  to the point he didn't even notice he'd interuppted me a multitude of times. Honestly, I didn't think I let out a single sentence that session.

2D full out had skipped a few after that Seemed to be a month or so, only to return again still with that newly adopted personality and slightly inflated ego, but a hint towards a lack of geniunity , which only sparked up further and further by the  weeks, dwindling and cracking more to the broken shield upholding a series of hinted conflicting emotions. Yet still he'd seemed to do his best presenting himself as stable as he ever could be.  
Until yesterday.

He went in on the brink of crumbling down and distraught. His eyes were glossy and fogged with despair, the moisture forming under his eyes was threating to fall.  He eventually had seemed to take notice of that, as he had tilted his head in such an angle that his face could not be visible, placing a hand over his mouth in an effort to quiet his shaky whimpers of breathing that almost fell into downright hyperventilating. The entire time, he didn't mutter a word, and I gave him the silence to pull himself together to talk, lasting a good few prolonged minutes until he went off speaking so instantaneously it took me a moment to process he was speaking.

 

"Hes back. Murdoc, that is, Murdoc's back. He came back this mornin' with Noodle. She left for Patagonia. Dunno why she did, but she left all the way to Patagonia lookin' for em and the guy he said framed em. She was gone one day n I didn' know why  n I asked Russel, he said he didn' know but she told 'im she was gonna be alrigh'. Then she came in with Murdoc  an' snow gear n then told us everythin'. He lied , bout everything, 's all a setup t' get attention-"

He stood up at this point, pacing back and forth facing the floor with not but a bit of time to intervene.

"Attention , attention 's all its bout. Cos I got to much of it for em, I guess. But now he says hes gonna get better n not do anythin' bad again,he's a new man he's said, an' noodle n Russel are with em-  
but I dunno what to think. 'm scared to trust em' cos he lies. He jus' lied, an' he'll do it again. Cos thats what he does- he lies and lies and lies an when I trust em-  I get hurt. I'm gonna get hurt again, im gonna get back t' square one n' I'm still- I'm still-"

"2D,take a breath, I want to help you, but I can hardly make out what your saying."

He looked up to me, now with a redness forming to his eyes that gave them a puffiness, and a few dampened  trails across his cheeks marking the reminsces of what stray tears had successly dripped down. 2D sniffled, wiping the back of his hand on his cheeks to smudge off the wet lines, before sitting himself down again, slowing his breath.

"..Sorry Hannibal"  
2D muttered solemnly.

I don't know why he always insisted on calling me by my first name. It definitely wasn't unheard of , but he had been oddly persistent about it on the first day, even desperately so, on calling me that rather then Dr. Niccals.

 

It fell back to quiet again. 2D only looked down at his lap, nervously figiting his hands together as one of his common tics. I let this quiet settle again, but not as long as the first, as it felt like he might not talk at all if I wasnt going to  speak myself.

"Alright. So, I know Murdocs back, and I know this obviously upsets you. But lets take this slowly this time. How about you take me step by step on what happened this morning , and what bothered you about it?"

 

2D nodded  , exhaled softly, and spoke , now with a much calmer but still unsettled tone.

"Me and Russel were waiting for noodle t' come back this mornin, cos' she said she was gonna get back from her vacation or somethin like that. Then I heard the doorbell ringin' so I went to go answer it. She was there, and Murdoc was too." 

He took in a deep breath again, his hands were still figiting together in his lap

"I started freakin' out, tryna get away from em. He kept comin' towards me,but he just ended up huggin' me. It's weird, cos he was talking up about how he hated me makin' the now now an' was real mad at me with the fans.  Then he gave me this rock."

2D shuffled in the back of his pockets haphazardly for a moment,before pulling out a small, brown , stone in his hand.

"Think he implied he didn' know whether it was a piece of shit or jus' a rock."

I had to prevent myself from laughing then. I saw a smirk on his own face form, as if he himself were trying not to laugh at it. But it didn't take too long for his face to drop again. The rock went back into his pocket, and he quickly got back to the topic.

 

"Sat Noodle , Russel n I for a talk. Thats when he said all that stuff bout gettin' better, new man , all that.  Went off on this sappy by the book speech on how much we ment to em' 'were like a family, Noodles like a daughter, and Russels like a brother. 2D , you're the beloved house cat.'"

He tensed up then. It appeared as if he was coming back to another near-breakdown,but he was making an effort to pull together.

"God, I hate it when they say things like that. Not the family part, I liked that bit. 'The beloved house cat.' Some sort of fuckin' pet s'all I am."

I was going to comment on that, but he quickly went off of the topic, I couldnt really have  been sure whether it was unintentional or he had just blurted out something he rather not confront

 

"I think the part that makes me the most uncertain is that noodle n Russel seem t' trust that'll do it now. Want me to trust em too. Least I think they do. Went into another room n' argued about it. But I think it was mainly jus cos of er goin'off to Patagonia."

"Do you have enough faith in Russel and Noodle making the choice to trust him?"

2D shrugged at this rather nonchalantly.  
"Always have trusted noodle and Russel more then anyone really, cept my parents but there not round anymore. They know better then me, but I still can't be sure really."

 

"Well, if he really is making an effort, trust doesn't always come instantly, D, it may take some time to trust him. Maybe a very long time. You just have to make sure he's keeping to that promise. Otherwise-"

"Don't go on that again, I can't do that."

2D replied  with a certain stubbornness, but it was accompained with a certain ense of anxiousness.  
He doesn't talk again for awhile, and it isn't long before he takes the chance to change the topic, this time i was sure intentionally.

"'s funny, cos you an murdoc are quite a lot different, almost like opposites, but you look so similar, even got the same last name. Almost like brothers."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Nerd dude guy on the gorillaz amino for helping me proofread this!!! I'm a bit rusty still since ive only really just pulled myself out of my killer writerblock with this one, and I'm gonna try and keep it up with future chapters for this and possible other works I haven't updated in quite a while, but hopefully I can get in the swing of things again. Any constructive criticism and such helps! Im really tryna improve.


End file.
